I feel like I did a decent job of establishing a point of view but i’m not sure if it is entirely clear to the reader. I also want to make sure all the information I gathered is correct and defined properly so that I don’t provide false information. From what I understand my peers really like my paper and think I am headed in the right direction. The one thing I read and was told consistently is that the examples I used were really good. I enjoy putting in my own personal examples because I feel that if I do this then the readers can relate if they’ve been put in a similar situation. Chloe told me that one of the quotes I used was good for establishing my claim against Gee. On the other hand Francesca told me I can improve this even better by stating that I don’t agree with Gee and then go from there. For Jordan Liam recommended I provide some background for one of the quotes I chose so I don’t risk reader getting confused. Two things I need to work on is using barclays formula and establishing my argument with clear words. I didn’t use the barclays formula at all and I need to include that within my essay in order for it to be clearer and have a stronger argument. I also dropped hints at what my point of view is and I guess you can establish my side in the argument. But the argument could be clearer if I state my view in it’s own sentence instead of making the reader search for it within my own words. In order to get the reader to understand my perspective I will try to be straight forward and directly state my claim and the side I agree with so that way it is established. I will also try to introduce some of my quotes a little better so that way the reader isn’t confused as to why I introduced certain quotes.
Work from the greatest to ever do it
